A while ago my gaming group (me +3) decided that we’d try a tale of 4 gamers style event and each was tasked with coming up with 500pts of fully painted new stuff from our mountain of assembled grey plastic gubbinz. I took the opportunity to dust off my old Catachan (I pronounce it Cat-A-Kan not Cat-A-Chan btw) and see what I could come up with.
I decided to theme my army around a regiment who have seriously lost their way. They’re 100% loyal to the Imperium but wouldn’t last 5 seconds under any kind of Inquisitorial scrutiny.
The Catachan 2012th were on a distant crusade far out on the galactic rim when their fleet was separated from the main body, their Navigator had a heart attack, and they were scattered to whothefuckknowswhere. Their Commissar section (never large in a Catachan army) took a battering and the last surviving Commissar lost the plot and started dressing like a pimp. They traffic with Xenos (plenty of my guardsmen use Eldar weapons as I had tons of spare fusion guns and old school Eldar las-guns), their Primaris Psyker is a Genestealer Magus, one of their Veterans thinks he’s personally been punched by the Emperor, their priests are crazed ex-sentinel drivers, the regimental advisers essentially wizards and their Tech Priest is an Ape.
Here’s a look at the characters of the Catachan 2012th
Name: Gene St.Ealer
Background: A genestealer magus that was the sole survivor of an attack on it’s cult by a Calidus Assassin. In the fray he was neural disruptored and his mind was essentially blanked. The assassin died shortly afterwards but had activated a distress beacon calling for extraction. The Catachan 2012th heard the beacon and came to the rescue. They had never encountered a Genestealer cult before, decided that this wandering imbecile was the person who’d initiated the beacon and was somehow importand and took him back to their fleet. He displayed psychic ability shortly afterwards and the 2012th think he’s dead useful.
Model: The oldschool Genestealer Magus
Name: Ork Deddog
Background: Basically an Ork Nob that’s been worked upon by a Mad Doc and left for dead. Found by large, musclebound and more importantly GREEN camo’d people he latched onto them as Kindred spirits. Has no idea he’s actually an Ork. The Ogryns adopted him and made him their leader as his green camo paint seems to be permanent.
Model: An Ork Nob with a ripper gun decked out in Aquilas
Name: Racey Cyback
Background: A Ratling badass who was requested to join the regiment by Company Command due to his impressive skills at cooking. Nobody knows he’s actually ex-ratling spec ops who once saved an Under Siege Imperial Guard battleship after the second in command dressed up as a Woman and killed the Captain in a failed ploy to steal the ship.
Model: A halfling chef with a demo pack – on the base “I also cook”
Background: While on combat ops several tanks became damaged beyond repair and were going to be given up for lost. A captive ape escaped from a stockade and repaired them all. The Company command decided that the Ape was obviously blessed by the Machine God and since their remaining Tech priests were all the wrong side of the grave, they’d keep him around. Clyde has since taken to trying to make dead Guardsmen work and has strapped guns to them…
Model: Jokaero + modified Catachan servitors
Iron Hand Straken
Background: Essentially a Necron that’s had half it’s body shot away and then haywired into next week. It woke up eventually and saw humans. It thinks it’s a human.
Model: Some modified Necron Lord
Gunnery Sergeant Harker
Model: The old female imp guard autocannon girl.
My Own Special Character
Name: Tommy ‘Swiftfists’
Background: One night before a serious battle Tommy prayed to the Emperor for deliverance and asked how he could beat his enemies. That night in a dream the Emperor came to Tommy and he wept with adulation. He asked the Emperor how he could defeat his foe in His name and the Emperor punched him straight in the face and broke his nose. Tommy woke up with a broken nose and took the message. He was to punch his way to victory in His name. He has kept a tally so far of everything he’s punched and plans on punching his way to the Eye of Terror if needs be.
Model: A normal guardsmen with the guns cut off in a martial arts fighting stance – wearing shades (he’s got permanent black eyes)
Note: Essentially he’s a normal member of a Command section but I swap his Lasgun for a Las Pistol so that he gets 2 attacks…he’s really nothing special. He’s given close combat upgrades and I play him like he wants to die. Tommy has up to press punched a number of enemies including (but not limited to) 1 Gaunt, 1 Attack Bike, 1 DW Terminator and 1 Blood Claw.
Kill count: 1xDeathwing Terminator
Officer of the Fleet
Name: Mad Jack
Background: Mad Jack has his ways, oh yes he does. He can ‘help’ the 2012th if they overlook some of his more shady dealings, they’re nothing serious and his tent always smells of sulfur and worse due to reasons he won’t go into right now. He can delay the enemy using ‘certain methods’. He’ll wear a camo cloak too just see if he won’t. He needs his robes still of course. He keeps things in them. Just don’t ask questions and Mad Jack will ensure your enemies are as confused about where the battle is as you are about how he hasn’t yet been shot by a Commissar.
Model: Empire Battle Wizard with las-pistol in place of a sword + a head swap (using the Catachan beret head)
Name: ‘Rambler’ Labair
Background: Labair was the only survivor from a rescued civilian shuttle. All the other occupants had been killed by an infestation of Leeches that sucked them dry, leaving them as desiccated husks. Labair was not afflicted by the Leeches for some reason which he attributes to his piety. He became extremely claustrophobic in the confines of the shuttle and now likes to roam the wilderness whenever he can, earning him the nickname ‘Rambler’. He is considered by the more superstitious in the 2012th to be a somewhat passable medic (leeches feature heavily in this remedies) although the officer section considers him a deranged druid. With all this said he has often attached himself to a command section to offer advice, such as it is, which has occasionally proven useful with reserve units thanks to his knowledge of the lay of the land which he will have inevitably have wandered over previously.
Model: Empire Battle Wizard with las-pistol in place of a sword & the staff cut down so it’s got the Aquilla
Background: The two guardsmen that stand in as Ministorum Priests for the 2012th are two old Sentinel pilots that were lost deep behind enemy lines with their section. They survived where everyone else did not and armed with their trusty Sentinel Chainsaws strapped to large bamboo poles they slowly made their way back to base camp. By the time they arrived they were wild of hair and beard and completely insane. They attributed their survival to the Emperor himself and are not shy about screaming their devotion to Him and spurring the troops on to bigger and better things.
Model: Empire Flagellants with modified Catachan Sentinel Chain Fists