Well, a while ago I painted up some of my madboy wannabes and this past few days saw me polish off the last of them that I still had staring at me on my shelf. They were quite fun to paint all in all and I probably should give them a MadNob to lead them but for now I’m happy with what I’ve done.
Here’s all of them together in a mad ensemble.
I also smashed out a Battle Wagon for them to ride in
Next up for the Orks will be the Warboss on his Warbike.
And finally there’s one Ork in the pictures above that is not quite all he seems. Here is his backstory.
***Warning! Fan Fiction Below!***
Dok Riptoof’s Finest Kreashun
Dok Riptoof sat on his chair and idly chewed on a miscellaneous hunk of meat he had found lying around on the floor of his operating theater. His teeth caught on something hard and un-chewable which he spat into his hand and held up to the light.
It was some sort of worthless ‘umie trinket that they liked to wear on their fingers made out of a dull gold metal. He tossed it into his bitz and bobz bucket and carried on with his finkin. He had a big job today and needed to concentrate.
He was no more than a few more mouthfuls in when the flaps of the tent opened up and Grubbit, his faithful Grot orderly, came in with a kart full of vicious looking implements.
“Right den boss, here’s ya tray of medikul fings wot yoo wanted” said the chirpy little Grot “I gotz yoo your grabbin tongs, yer twistin off tongs an’ yer smashin’ tongs”
He plonked the pile of tools onto the sergery table and made some checkmarks on a blood soaked clip board before picking some more devices.
“Here’s yer precision kutta, yer no-precision kutta an yer variable speed precison rippa” The Grot dutifully placed the power tools near to the dok for inspektion.
“An’ last of all I got yer a fully grown numbin’ squig. It was da last one da Runtherder ‘ad so it kost a few more teef which is why al yer teef iz used up” the Grot lied “Wot woz next boss?”
Dok Riptoof stood up and playfully kicked the grot into a metal cabinet which he hit with a considerable bang causing all manner of spanners and wrenches and the like to rain down upon him.
“Yoov done ok dere ya runt but yoo betta be findin’ a discount on me next purchases or I may have to ‘av cutbacks on me medikul staff. Yoo rememba wot ‘appened to Yeller don’t ya.
Images of his ex-work mate being katapulted over the walls of the settlement so the Ork Boyz could have some target practice surged into the Grot orderlys mind
“Of course boss” he said through gritted teeth “I’m sure I can get yoo a deal one way or annuva”
“Good lad” replied the Dok as he strapped a chainsaw glove to his hand.
“Wot we ‘av got ‘ere is da pinnacle of Orky Medikul know-wotz an’ we iz gonna be da best Dok in dis Klan since….err…well…since any uvva Dok.”
The Grot climbed up onto a stool so he could better assist the Dok. The patient was hidden under a blood soaked cloth but even Grubbit could see that it was too weedy to be an Ork and too long to be a Grot. He had a squeeze of a random bit and the patient gave off a dull moan.
The Dok brushed Grubbits hands away with an irritated growl. The chainsaw glove was whirring away and it nicked the patient causing another moan to emanate from under the blanket.
“Keep yer’ andz off of ‘im. Dis is a very speshul patient an I don’t want ‘im to get excited”
The Grot removed his hands before he got them caught in the glove too. He was about to ask a series of pre-procedure questions such as ‘wot are we doin’ and ‘can I eat any of the patient this time’ but the Dok had a crazed look in his eyes. The kind of look he got when he was about to explain his master plan to the universe. Grubbit knew better than to interrupt, that’s what got Yeller lobbed over the battlements and shot to ribbons.
That said, he also didn’t want to listen, Riptoofs musings were all over the place and while he maintained his perceived attention he often snaffled himself a few bitz to sell back to the Dok when he went to look for them again and couldn’t find them. A tidy little side business that was.
Grubbit looked over to the other table and saw a meaty looking Ork boy that had taken a savage clobberin’ to the top of his head. All his skull had been caved in and brains and other tubey bits were leaking out behind him in a large puddle. He probably only had a day or two left to live at most.
The Dok was busy and the Ork boy was out cold so Grubbit whipped out his toof extractors and got to work before anyone noticed. No sooner had he liberated the last of the patients decent teef he snapped to attention as the sound of a Medikul Skoopa fired up.
“An’ so!” Yelled Riptoof, his crazed eyes were bloodshot with an equal combination of rage and excitement, “Dis ‘umie finks he can do experimentin’ on MY Boyz!?! He has annova fing kommin. ‘Cos when ‘e wakez up….he iz gonna BE a Boy!”
Riptoof held his head back and thrust his arms into the air in triumphant glee laughing insanely.
Grubbit saw that the top of the ‘umies head had been cut clean off while he was working on the Boy and this had exposed a tasty looking pink brain. Suddenly the Doks intentions became clear.
Grubbit, quickly scooped out what remained of the Boyz brain, shortening his life by a considerable amount, and said “Da Boy iz ready boss!”
Riptoof snapped out of his maniacal laughter and remembered what he was meant to be doing. A surgical procedure unprecedented in Ork Medikul history. Proof positive that he was the greatest Dok that ever lived. A ‘umie brain inside an Ork body.
He delicately brought the skoopa to play and with one deft flick of the wrist extracted the entire Umie brain in one go. Trailing bits of spine and tubes were deftly snippe off and he plonked it into a vat of special squig paste to keep it fresh.
Riptoof gathered all the vital equipment and was ready to get to work. The equipment had to be top notch what with ‘umie brainz being all weak and pathetic so he had procured only the newest and cleanest nails from the mekboyz, each one set to be driven deep into the pink mass to secure it to the Ork doner.
A procedure like this on an Ork boy would be the work of fifteen minutes or so but this was kutting edge medical work and the patient was a weedy ‘uman so the procedure lasted long into the night.
Eventually as the sun was rising over the encampment he was done. The final stage was simply to staple the skull back into place and put the ‘umies skin back on so he would know which one he was when he let him go. The procedure was complete.
Riptoof clapped Grubbit on the back which cartwheeled the hapless Grot into a pile of ‘umie bodies in the corner that he’d been practicing on earlier to perfect the operation and sat back into his favourite chair.
Having waited for over a minute the Dok decided he needed to relieve himself so left explicit medikul instructions with his faithful orderly.
“All we kan do now iz wait Grubbit. But if he isn’t woken up by da time I’z back then clobber him in ‘the particulars with an ‘ammer. That usually does da trick”
Upon returning to the theater Riptoof saw that the Boy was sitting upright blood soaked bandages wrapped around his face prevented him from seeing the Dok.
“I see da patient ‘az woken up Grubbit, good work” he tossed Grubbit a fat chunk of ‘shroom which was gobbled down immediately
“Now ‘den….do you know wot you iz” said Riptoof to the Boy
The boy sat upright and puffed his chest out somewhat.
“I iz Lord Kommander Treliak Marsellius of da 104th legion of hi…..why iz my voice all wrong? Wot ‘av yoo done ter me!?”
The Boy ripped away the bandages around his face and his eyes went wide with terror when he saw his hands. Gone were the smooth dextrous hands he was used to, instead, gnarled green fists were responding in their place.
Riptoof leaned in close enough that the boy was able to see the dead insects in his teeth
“Yoo remember all dem ladz wot yoo had snaffled an’ got yer doks to work over? When I got word of it I fought to myself, I fought, dat umie boss needs a lesson ‘e does ‘an ‘ere yoo are now. I’z only gone an’ returned yoo da favour! Konsider yerself improoved now!”
The Dok motioned to the table next to him where the patient’s previous ruined body now lay, the skull a hollowed out cavern. The Ork Boys mouth fell open in shock
“dat…THAT..is not me…dis…THIS…can’t be ‘appening….iz a nightmare…this iz not ‘appenin!” said the boy
“It’z yer dream come true yer sneaky git. Yer a lad now, all strong an’ tough like yer wanted. Yer pafetik umie Doks aint got da know wotz ta perform such a delikate procedure but yer wiv da Orks now an we iz da best”
“Now yoo might ‘av some trouble wiv ya new body. It was mangled by summink or uvva so yer best find out wot workz an’ wot don’t. I kan fix most fings but me aftercare work is kostly mind yoo.”
“Oh an’ annuva fing” said Riptoof as he shoved the boy out into the open air outside the door flaps of the medikul tent,
“Yer gonna need ter ‘ide bein a ‘umie or da ladz’ll eat ya“